but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I want to be your penis for a week.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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