So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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