Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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