just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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