U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
