come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
