If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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