where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
