I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's shark week go big or go home
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think I just sharted jello shots
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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