I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
