im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I am one with the molecules
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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