maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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