Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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