why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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