just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
