Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
