So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
my poor anus
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
