just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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