I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
