Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
