so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
if only i could text you this smell
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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