so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
