The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
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