One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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