Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
