you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
