She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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