Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
