Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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