Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
