i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
