and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
