Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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