quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I will pee on everything he values.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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