Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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