Got a toothbrush?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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