The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
