it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
