lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i dont even know how to be here
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
