if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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