you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
