I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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