Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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