dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
