And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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