My first STD was from a foam party
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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