There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
