sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
