Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
