Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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