I wish I only lived at night.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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