carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
