I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
