Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
