You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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