We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
