I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
This baby is an asshole
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
