Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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