its not stalking. its research.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize