her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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