birth control should be required to get into college
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize