and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
