I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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