Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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